Tune in for the first cycle of Theo is America's Next Top Model, which follows an ambitious aging stuffed bear as he tries to prove he has what it takes to make it in the high-stress, high-stakes world of modeling.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Lowering One's Standards

Sometimes being a model is not glamorous. Sometimes it is drudge work to just make ends meet. Underwear models, for example, do not all work for Victoria's Secret. Most, in fact, make their living doing mundane work for the Sears catalogue or JC Penny. Theo had to learn to humble himself before he could take on new, more exciting assignments. He needed to be broken.

In this first shot, Theo models my Hanes hipster cotton underwear. They were purchased in a four pack for under $6.00, coming out to a reasonable $1.50 or so per pair. Let's face it: they are a nice cut, but who the fuck thought that pattern was a good idea? These are for commoners like me.In the second shot, Theo illustrates what happens when companies have no quality controls. Supposedly the pair is the same size as the ones Theo models above, yet it is obvious that these are a might larger. The pattern is slightly less disturbing, although reminiscent of op art from the 1960s. I'm not sure anyone wants that on her ass.Although Theo indicated his displeasure to his agent (me) as he was dressed for this assignment, he was thoroughly professional with the photographer (also me). He gave me the best demur, innocent "I'm wearing cotton panties" look that a stuffed bear can muster. I am very proud of him, and think it demonstrates that he is ready to move into some designer modeling.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

the 2nd pair is clearly some sort of blanket / cape combo for Theo.

11:28 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi love ur site
please could you comment on mine or even put up a link to it as i will do for
peace &love **from april

2:39 PM

Blogger oomm said...

You know if Nigel had shot this it would have been done in the ocean.

Wet fur is the new black.

4:07 PM


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