Stay Tuned...

Applications for America's Next Top Model are due by August 18. Since Theo has done such an excellent job modeling my underwear in the past year, I thought he'd make a great contender. Unfortunately, conditions #7 and #8 of the eligibility guidelines specifically note that "You must be female" and "You must be at least five feet and seven inches (5'7") in height. Theo is a sexless bear (although I call him male, there is no evidence other than his oozing masculinity) and is only 20.5 inches tall. (At least the guidelines do not require applicants to be human.) Fuckers! They do not know what they are missing out on.

Despite this little setback, Theo and I believe that he has what it takes to be America's Next Top Model, and we will prove it here. Stay tuned for new Theo photographs, travel to exotic locations (like Iowa City!), and the adventure of a lifetime.